Some while ago I wrote an "Elements" poem but Muse decided that it was time for another look at the concept with a different slant on the feeling of the poem. I know better than to argue with Muse so here is the new offering.
Elements ~ another view - 09 Mar 13
Sky
Shrouds of air
In finite wrappings
Infinite in feel
Her gentle breath
Coaxing future memories
Into being
Sun
She warmed me and whispered
Gently
Mischievously
Teasingly
Promised hot fires of
Passion
When I arrived
Sea
She waited for me
Her thoughts called me
To walk with her beside the waves
She invited me
Her kisses
Formed a prize
Tempting me
Sand
Along the sand
On an empty shore
Mysteries
Waiting to be
Soul
As one …
The alchemical elements of Air, Fire, Water, Earth and Spirit are here represented by Sky, Sun, Sea, Sand and Soul. It was only when building the poem here that the alliteration of the "S" theme was formed and the title of the first segment was changed from "Cloud" to Sky.
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i went back and read your original 'Elements' first ~ absolutely stunning lines:
ReplyDelete"A fool's quest
Starts with but a single step"
though i must say that this poem felt stronger to me, poetically and conceptually. the alliteration was nice and i liked your personification of the Sky, Sun and Sea.
as in the original, the final verse touched me most. both amazing poems!
Thank you for going back to re-read the earlier poem dani ♥
DeleteI rather like the two word poem here ♥
Thank you for your Lovely comments dani ♥