Tuesday 11 December 2012

Frosted Night [re-written]


The poem first posted here three days ago has been re-written after it was pointed out to me that it could be split into two related poems.
So now I offer the new version, presented as a Tanka and an Haikū envoi.
Hoping you like the new offering.




Frosted Night [re-written]  -  08 & 11 Dec 12

Moon ~ her beauty shines
Encrusted ~ a thousand stars
Frosted night Dragons
Sky diamonds shine brightly
Amid enchanted dreaming

Crystal shards ~ glitter
On fields of velvet darkness
Reflecting the glow




Thanks are due to dani harris for her suggestion ~ I always consider any suggestions carefully...especially if they are polite. [smiling as I type]

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2 comments:

  1. i was only commenting, not suggesting, but considering how stunningly beautiful your new version is, i'm grateful you took it as a suggestion. {smile} loved the original! love this even more!

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    1. A comment such as yours I took as a suggestion because it made so much sense. The added line and a few words allowed a better flow to the poem[s].

      Thank you again dani ♥ for your comments and suggestions.

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